Too Late
by Joan Powers
Summary: Things don’t happen the way Devon plans once they reach New Pacifica. DD


Too Late

by Joan Powers

This is a reposting of a story originally written in 1996.

**Author's notes**

(1) This is a short piece exploring the question 'what if ?'. It's not meant to be in sequence with any of my previous stories. If you're not a Devon and Danziger fan or into mush, bail out now.

(2) Thanks to Paula for encouraging me to write this.

**Type:** D/D angst

**Summary:** Things don't happen the way Devon plans once they reach New Pacifica

**Timeline:** Shortly after Eden project reaches New Pacifica

**Rating:** K

A solitary figure admired the view. From her vantage point, Devon Adair could see the ocean with its majestic waves crashing onto a small slip of beach. Up on the hill where she stood, several sturdy trees towered, laden with brilliant golden leaves, many of which littered the ground. She wrapped her arms about herself, trying to get rid of the chill within her. Brushing aside some damp leaves, she prepared a place for herself to sit on the ground.

She hugged her knees to her chest as she thought back to the last two and a half years of her life. New Pacifica - they had made it. And Uly, along with many of the Syndrome children were healed. Yet instead of basking in the glow of her accomplishments, she was filled with sadness.

For everything hadn't worked out exactly as she had planned.

The crash of the Advance ship had been horrible and frightening, but they'd managed to stick together as a group and travel over two thousand miles across the continent to reach New Pacifica. Hunger, disease, Zed's, penal colonists - danger lurked seemingly about every corner. Still, they'd persevered and triumphed over these obstacles.

She thought back to those she'd shared the journey with. Dr. Julia Heller's resourcefulness and insight never ceased to amaze her. She always smiled whenever she saw Julia with Alonzo, their love for each other evident in every gaze and gesture. Devon was relieved that their fearless young pilot had come to openly embrace his role with the Terrians. That relationship had proven vital to establishing their colony in a fashion which would be pleasing to their Terrian hosts.

The Martins, despite their occasional flights of selfishness, usually came through in times of crisis. Actually, she could say that of all of the Eden crew - without exception. Warmth filled her heart as she reflected on those special people. She was pleased that most had decided to stay at New Pacifica rather than return to the Stations.

Of course, there was one man in particular whom she knew she couldn't have done without. In the beginning, he'd openly challenged her when he believed she was off base, though he'd proven to be a loyal ally, standing by her in times of need. His technical prowess with the vehicles had proven invaluable. And his courage and strength had more than held the group together during stressful periods.

After she'd been revived from her cold sleep crypt, his feelings for her were apparent. One night, shortly after they had returned to camp, they'd shared a tentative kiss, though neither said much about the incident afterwards. At that time, she'd been preoccupied with the welfare of the group and their mission to reach New Pacifica so she hadn't pursued the issue. And he'd respected her feelings.

Besides there would be plenty of time, she'd assured herself, after they'd reached New Pacifica. Once the colony was securely established, then she could allow herself the luxury of pursuing the desires of her heart. The needs of the colony had seemed much more important than her own.

Bitterness rose within her as she choked back a sob. How could she have been so foolish? It just wasn't fair. Tears which she had dammed up within herself began to stream freely down her cheeks. She should be enjoying his company now. Hearing his laugh, sharing his tender kisses and warm embraces. Having his children to extend their family. Fate had cruelly mocked her.

Because it was too late. Her hand rested on the crude wooden grave marker. John Danziger had been taken from her, from all of them.

After they'd arrived at New Pacifica, the group immediately submerged themselves in a flurry of activity - locating cargo pods, building the hospital and other shelters, planting crops. Within no time, the colony ship had arrived. During the harried weeks of integrating the new arrivals, Devon had noticed that John seemed tired but he swiftly brushed aside her concerns, claiming he was perfectly fine. So she hadn't given the issue another thought, taking for granted that John always managed to show up where he was needed.

She didn't realize that the situation was serious until she nearly collided with a terrified True Danziger. Immediately, Devon had rushed to his bedside at the hospital. The large man had looked strangely out of place amongst the other patients - a few fragile young Syndrome children. It was disturbing to see the vital man flat on his back with a feverish glow on his face. She sat down beside him and held his hand, interlocking her fingers between his. He squeezed her hand back gently.

Somehow, she wasn't sure if it was Julia's demeanor or the lack of luster in John's eyes, but she knew...she was going to lose him. Swallowing the pain this revelation caused, she remained strong. Rather than breaking out into tears and showering him with her anxiety and deep regret for wasted time - for what they could have shared together, she spoke softly to him - sharing warm supportive words of encouragement and love. Occasionally she mopped his brow with a cool cloth and at one point cradled him in her arms.

She didn't know if he was cognizant of what she was saying or doing, but she had to be there for him. It actually didn't matter if he could hear her, for it wasn't necessary for either of them to put their feelings into words. She knew in her heart, without a doubt, that she loved him and that he loved her. They both had known this for some time. At least she could rest secure with that knowledge.

As the sun began to sink in the distant horizon, she sat with her face buried in her knees, sobbing hysterically. At first she'd struggled to muffle her anguished cries but her efforts proved to be futile. Over an hour she wept bitterly, until she had no tears left and felt empty inside. As an Adair, she'd been trained to suppress her feelings. This had been her first private moment to express her grief, she hadn't wanted to further upset the children.

Then, as Devon Adair had always done, she collected herself, smoothing out her clothing then putting on a brave face to prepare to return to the colony. For she couldn't allow herself the luxury of wallowing in her pain, she was needed. She had responsibilities - a son to raise and now, a daughter. She fully intended to fulfill the promise she'd made to the man she loved.

THE END


End file.
